Burial

Q. Can my Catholic husband be buried with me in a Jewish cemetery?

R. The couple live in New Jersey, USA. Immediate responses were that it might be unlikely for Orthodox cemeteries to permit it but reform ones might.

I found two interesting articles online regarding this issue: www.jewishaz.com/issues/070119/burialside.html and www.templeshalom.net/images/uploads/shofar-feb-2005_cemetery-article.pdf . Prof Harold Kasimow, George Drake Professor of Religious Studies at Grinnell College in Iowa, USA, and a specialist in comparative religion and Jewish studies, also suggested the first one might be helpful.

As interfaith marriages are on the increase interfaith burials will become increasingly relevant and challenge the relevant authorities to make provision for them. Read more about this at www.interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/death_and_mourning/Interfaith_Cemeteries__A_Growing_Need.shtml

This response came from Rabbi Lev Baesh, Director of the Resource Center for Jewish Clergy at www.interfaithfamily.com : There are Jewish cemeteries that are now founded with sections for interfaith couples. Some request that only rabbis officiate there and some have no restrictions. Most Jewish cemeteries are aligned with particular congregations/temples and usually require membership for burial or some kind of payment to use their spaces. Jews and their partners can be buried in public cemeteries as well without any of the above restrictions. Their best bet is to call one of the Jewish funeral homes near them and ask for list of Jewish cemeteries that allow for interfaith burial. They can then contact the cemeteries to see what rules apply, although the funeral homes usually know all that, it is always good to double check. Our website also has great resources for families around death and mourning if that would be helpful to them and your readership.

This response came from Mary Rosenbaum, President of the Dovetail Institute for Interfaith Family Resources, www.dovetailinstitute.org : The short answer is, maybe. It depends on the congregational affiliation/s. If there are any Orthodox groups involved, it's likely that they'll have stipulated no non-Jewish burials, especially where intermarriage is involved. If it's a cemetery administered by Reform or Reconstructionist congregations, it probably will allow it. Statistically speaking, I believe it's more likely that they would have a Catholic cemetery in the area that would allow burial of the Jewish partner. There is a group called Interfaith Clergy based in Cherry Hill, New Jersey that caters to interfaith couples. I suggest your questioner contact them through Rabbi Shimon Berris, who is a great friend of Dovetail, at interclerg at aol.com (replace at with the @) or 908-232-3738 for more specific guidance.

Regarding the same situation in the UK, Rosalind Birtwhistle of Interfaith Marriage Network - www.interfaithmarriage.org.uk - offered this response: As I understand it, people who wish to be buried in a Jewish cemetery have to be members of their Jewish burial society, and to do this they are expected to be members of a synagogue too. Although I have heard that in a few progressive (ie Liberal and Reform) synagogues non-Jewish spouses can be affiliate members, I don't think this applies to the burial societies. So mixed couples wishing to be buried together, or have their ashes interred together would have to opt for a municipal cemetery, or a church which didn't mind an un-baptised spouse being in the graveyard. There are a number of websites dealing with Jewish burial eg. www.jewishfunerals.org.uk .